


arile and count chocula

by lydiaaaa



Category: Count Chocula - Fandom
Genre: Arson, Bread, Demonic Powers, M/M, Organs, bad cereal, big tiddie goth gf, count chocula dies, gay fairies, lots of keysmash, random slip n slide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27529840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lydiaaaa/pseuds/lydiaaaa
Summary: bitch so anyways count chocula is a chaotic mferarile is so done with everyone’s shitbarnaby is in love with his idiot bfspartacus love to keysmashBREAD
Relationships: arile/count chocula, barnaby/spartacus
Kudos: 1





	arile and count chocula

Onew day arile was walking down the mf street and they got hit on the head with a dlamp shade thingamabobn. “ousch thhaat hurt bruh. wich one of yall mfers threwe that.” (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

“twas noet I you foul smellhing thurd.”, said count chocula

“omfg count chocula why are oyu heree?” owehjfbnejfnwfnewkwnf

“im preggo and its ur bby”

“omg noh count chocula whatt should we doo”

Ehehehhehehe imf jhust kidding ehehehhehehh”

“frick u count chocula”

“u know yo ulove me bby grill”

“stfu count chocula this is why your fathher left u”

Count chocula slowly criesd to himselldf  
“i wany meeee mommmmmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

He continues to sob louder before he stops abruptlreee 2 say, “hehehhee got u fricker”. Count chocula then pulls out an uno reverse card out of his booty.\

“why tf whas that in ur booty whole count chocula that wheird.” arile says as they gags bothy inthernallly and exhternallee. “put that awayy it smells lihke the insighde of ur booty whole. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

“well where ehles would it cohme fromeee eehehehehhehe”

“ oyu nasty frickerrr imma beat the nerds out of you”  
“oh yeah I forgot I put themmn uop therer”

“wHAT IS WONGH WITH U COUNT CHOCULA WHY ARE THE Y UP THE RER” ಠ_ಠ

“nehehever to be seen againnn”

“ count chocula pull them out of ur buttt”  
“no” ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

“yes” ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

“NO” ( ͡o ͜ʖ ͡o)

“YES OR I WILL CURBSTOMP YOU UNTIL THEY POP OUT OF YOU LIKE AN EHGG”

“fINE” count chocula then gives birthhh out of his boot y hole to sehehventeen highschollers all equipped with breefcases and galsses.

“now whass that so hardd”

“yes. Also tHATS WHAT SHEE SAIID FJNNSKNFDEOISNFEJNKEF” JSFNKNEJKNFKSJDNEFNSKDFNJ

Arile just sighed and layed down ion rhe ground a s ir started the rianing. MmmMMMM WHATCHA SAY KNOW THAT YOU ONLY MEANT WELL mmMMMM THAT ITS ALL FOR THE BEST MMMMM WHATCHA SAY MMMMM WHATCHA SAYY MM WHATCH S

Soory I trh enarrarator just inhaled large amunt s of methampheramine by compleyte “accidetn”

DRUGA DRUGA DRUGA DRUGA DRUGA DRUGA DRU

Arile then proceeds to laye there for twhelve minutees before sighinng again and then stanfingg up afgains.

“why do I put up with u”

“cause im ur gorgeous bf” says count chocula with a smirk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

“i don’t love oyu and I nevre will count chocula get outta meeh house”

“arile me dear we are on the sidewalk outside of the BREAD BANK”

“dont call em dear you big fartcloud’”

All of a suddent the manager of the bread sto comes out and screams “BREAD”

“Well tha t was weird” says count chocula

“stfu count chocula I hat eyou and I will enehver ever have ur babies cause ur a creppy old man who sjdfksjenkjefnsff puts tEENAGERS UP HIS BOOT Y WHOLE”

“count chocula is sad” says count chocula

He then bursts into a cloud of flames an d his cerial thay is really gross

Like comen on guys who actuallgy eats that trash  
Ast the cloud of flames and bad cereal floahts away it wispers “count choculaaaaaaa”

Bruh wtf” was that says arile

The clouds all of a suhdeen clear fromh the skay cause if you remebher it was raingn earlier 

Remember it was goinh MMM WHATCH SAYYY MMMM KNOW THAY YOU ONLY MEANT WELL

Okay wieel if u don’t im still moving on

Anyway th e clouds clear and all of a suhden Barnaby the fairy cohmes down and lands his teeny ass little feet on the conkcrete. Then after that Barnaby’s bf Spartacus licherally faceplants onnthe cONKCRET

“omfg spartacus again?” syas Barnaby

“JDSBFKNBGFLKSNMD FLKJENFKSJHFKJSKJEFNEKJN” says spartacus

“I think he’s dead” syas arile

“nah hes just stupid. SPARTACUS STOP ACTING LIKE THTA OMFG WHY AM I EVEN DAHTEING U” 

Spartacus continues to be a cohmpleet mess ehile Barnaby pretends that he haytes him but in realitee hes in luhv ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Ehehehheheheh dumb gay fairies ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

“n e ways the reeson y im here is because count chocula got away from us.” Barnaby says while tryinng to ignoree Spartacus latching onyo him and saying “jskfefufbsdfbuefhskdfneusfnejk”

“oh hes dead” says arile while trying to refraain from laufghinat sparTacus

“Wait what wheres his body. I want to eat his organs ehehhehehehheh” 

“he dissappeared into a cloud of FIYA and shity cereal”

“frickin satan spawn. I wanna beat the fUCK out of him”

“KFLKSNFIOEUFHKSNKFNEIUHSKFJNSKJENFKSMNFEKJS”  
“Barnaby you fuck. Stfu okay sweetheart.” 

“LDSKFHWEKJNEFKNEKFNKWEFNKENFKWNEKF”  
Barnabee sighs as he says “Why did I brijng you. All you do is just verbally keysmash”

“LSNFK;ENFNENFKNWNJFNJE”

“okay jesuus srry spartacus. Anyways arile he just tricked you. Hes actually just aroiound the corner hiding from u”

Litcherally so um everyone turns arouund wsjdfig[hwiehfwihf and there he is, count fucking chocula

“ FUCK U BARNABY I WAS ALMOST SUCCESFUL” cries count chocula as he flips them all oof with both of his hANDS

AAHHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAIKAPHEFWOK;ENWNEJFWEKNFKWNKJNFKEWJFWJKRFNJWNKE

D O O D O O F A R T

“WEEL SCREW OUY COUNT CHOCULA YOUR FATHER LEFT U” SAYS BArnnaby

“oyu didn’t have to do me like that bhitch” count chocula says as he sighss

“n e ways count chocula give me oyur organs so I can absosrbt them and gain massive demonic powhers”

“wHAT NOW” says arilw “I WANT DEMONHCIC POWHERSS GIVE THE ORGHANS RO ME COUNT CHOCULA”

“and why would I do that arile”

Arile sighsss and says reluctantly “because you’re my big tiddie goth gf”

“what the fuck is going ohnnnn” says barnabeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

“PSALOIJFLKESNFSEKFNSLFKNSLEKFJLSDA ARILE YOU SAID IT” 

Count chocula has begun ot roll around on the floor in a mix of piss ansd tears

Don’t ask why he peed im bored and that’s funny

Okay fine count chocula pisses himself whenever he is called a big tiddie goth gf 

Im extremely tired stfu

N e ways um so

Count chocula reaches into his skin and grabs each of his organs and sets them in a neat pile before ariles feet

“wait” says barnabee “if they gest your mf organs can I have ur blood”

“JSHF;ENKSNEUIESFHNKLJESULSLFHSELFHSJFNSN”

“yeah sure fine whatever floats your weird ass bpat”

“YES BLOODY SLIP AND SLIDE TIME. SPARTACUS GET THE KIDDIE POOL AND THE SLIP AND SLIDE”

For some reason spartacus just has those in hisb mf pockets I guess so he just pulls them out

(that’s what she said)

Pass ur mf blood bitch” says barnaby  
“oh yes I 4got to tell u my blood is choccy milk and you know what thety say”

“what do they say “ syas arile  
“choccy milk is onlt for the epics so you gotta do somethig epic barnabeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

Barnabee just does the default dance from forknife cause they apparentk have rhat up in gay ass fairy land or whatever

“okay that was mf epic” syas count chocula “here u go you rat bastard”

*barnaby has obtained ‘choccy milk’*

Wait what is this shit

Aint a mf pokeom game 

Fuck yall

Anyways so

Sweet cmon spartacus my love lets go slish splash in this mf blood/epic choccy milk” says barnabee as he is now in a matching swimsuit with spartacus

They grab hands and slowly walk into the sunset

“okay arile me dear now for my last few organs”

Count chocula then pulls his eyes out of their sockets and then begins to peel his skin off his body

“here u are my dear”

Count chocula is now just a skeleton

“epic okay”

Arile then consumes his organs

LJKSFKJEKNSLEFKJNSEKFNKLSDJFHNUSEFHSKJEFSFNSKEJFNSKLEFHKSDNFSJE *demonic sounds*  
“HOW YOU LIKE THAT BITCH IM A DEMON”

Sthey then commit massive amounts of arson and homicide before count chocula crumbles to dust in the distance

Count choculas last words were “i will be with you always me dear

We trhen cut to barnaby and spartacus on the slip and slide as spartacus slides down on just his head

An eventful day this was don’t you think dear reader

Bye you sick fucks ill see yo unext time my brain has an anuerysm and decides to write something like this again


End file.
